I used to be Lisa, or Why Finding Handsome and Why Now?
On the road to Finding Handsome - Pride 2024 edition

I used to be Lisa. It took me 53 years, 5 cities, 22 homes, 2 dogs, 1 marriage, 5 kids, 2.5 careers (ish), 1 lesbian country band, 5 barbershops, countless awkward and failed attempts at “dressing up,” innumerable anxious public bathroom visits, 1 tailor, 2 name changes, 1 surgery, and the support of amazing, open-minded parents and a big brother, along with a slow but steady acceptance from the world around me, to get here. Not to mention a long journey of self-acceptance, inner searching, and finally coming home, though the journey continues daily.
Now, I’m Travis, but I guess in a way, I always was.
This is Finding Handsome, and this first post is my story. And I’m terrified! It’s taken me a full year to do this. I’ve faced many challenges without fear, but writing feels vulnerable and scary, and this project is deeply personal. I suppose it’s time to lean into that.
This project emerged from many years of discovering my path to handsome. It was a gradual process, and I’ll share my story eventually, but for now, I’ll introduce the project.
In the past decade, the media has increasingly appreciated queer and trans folks in advertising and on screens, featuring drag queens, gay men, and occasionally trans and nonbinary characters, and sometimes lesbians—though largely of the femme variety. However, there remains a glaring absence in the representation of masculine-of-center butches, trans men, and those navigating the expansive in-between spectrum. The silence is profound. Finding Handsome aims to amplify and celebrate the voices, stories, and imagery of this oh-so-handsome, masculine, and resilient group.
Reading Ivan E. Coyote’s book "Rebent Sinner" (2019) during the pandemic, one passage struck me as particularly relevant to this project:
"People like to make fun of people who take selfies. But some folks grow up feeling ugly. Maybe having control over their image, taking a picture that makes them feel beautiful or handsome or sexy, and posting it makes them feel better about how they look. Queers get called ugly. Butches do. Homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, racism get aimed and fired at some of us. We are bombarded with images of who is allowed to be attractive and who is not. Maybe selfies are a way for some people to feel beautiful and get positive messages about their bodies. I know I always felt ugly when I was young because I didn’t know any handsome female-assigned people. I didn’t know I was allowed to be attractive in any other way but pretty. I also know I still carry some of that feeling ugly around with me to this day."

I am a butch/nonbinary/queer/trans-masculine person who has never quite settled with any existing gender labels. I was born into this world with a vagina and celebrated as a girl—with a literal pink flag raised to let folks know (not kidding, that’s another story)—and at the age of 53, I’m still learning how “girl/woman” or “boy/man” doesn’t quite work for my version of human. I am a long-time photographer, educator, and creator with a deep love of portraits, faces, and storytelling. I cherish connections, community, and bringing people together. I am a musician (albeit rusty) and performer, continually learning the different ways to be most myself.
Back in February 2023, I was struggling with depression and trying to reconnect with the parts of myself that felt the most vibrant and alive. Photography was one of those things—when I was engaged in shooting, I felt alive and connected, and everything else fell away. It was the flow state that all the gurus talk about. I met with a former colleague and friend, photographer Steve Carty, to help me hash out my ideas, fears, hopes, and worries. Part coaching session, part therapy session, and part just spending time with a friend, Steve asked the right questions and helped me find my way to Finding Handsome.
I am photographing and interviewing people who were assigned or assumed female at birth. This project is part photo project, part storytelling, and part conversation. I planned my first photo shoot with Fogel in March 2023.
Finding Handsome is a celebration of becoming; a nod to arriving and landing and the journey in between.
This project seeks to elevate and appreciate masculinity—primarily through collaboration between photographer and subject to create images that resonate deeply and authentically. I am focusing on those born in the 1970s or earlier, though I am open to exceptions because everyone has a story about their journey to handsome. Generation X and older largely did not see themselves represented. Gender was binary, and the internet wasn’t a thing yet. As I meet, photograph, and talk to fellow "handsomes," I realize these conversations are sometimes the first time anyone has been asked these questions or given space to discuss this aspect of their lives.
I am seeking celebration, connection, and community. Whether you join me as a reader/viewer or a participant, I hope you enjoy Finding Handsome and reach out!

Handsome and all heart. This project is so good. I'm looking forward to following Finding Handsome, Travis.
Your bravery, honesty, candor, and integrity shine through, Travis. Thank you for sharing your story and for your courage to stand firm. Welcome to Substack. I look forward to reading your stories and sharing your insights.