AVI: Man of few words
Finding Handsome 003: "Oh, I could just get a new pair of shoes that feel more comfortable."
This is Avi Maghidson. Avi was my third photo shoot but my second Substack issue because FH002 will come later - more on that later. These photos and videos were shot in September 2023. Just a note that in 3 days on July 8, Avi will be turning 60!! Happy Birthday, Avi!
and I met playing soccer at Pink Turf - the lesbian soccer league that plays at Withrow Park on the weekends. Or, it might have been Rainbow Hoops - the lesbian basketball league. Or quite probably both as these were popular places for jock-ish dykes (as we were) to go. If my memory serves me well, this must have been in the mid 2000s. Avi had long dreadlocks and a somewhat serious and quiet manner from afar. Avi intimidated me a bit because he was a “man of few words'', but when he did speak, he seemed very wise. Quiet and wise - something I always admired in people but could rarely be myself; I was quite the opposite! My nervous energy in social spaces often made me loud and boisterous and buffoonish as I tried to make jokes and get laughs.
When watching the video of our interview, you’ll discover where this quality comes from and why. But here’s a hint (spoiler alert!) in the photo below.
We became closer when we met as two couples - Avi and Lainie had just adopted their first son and my ex-wife, Ajike and I wanted to adopt as well - which we did, only a few months after they did. Our sons grew up close in age and we spent much time together as families. Both of us were in a mixed race, Jewish (mine was mixed faith) marriage with adopted black boys. They eventually adopted a second son, and we went on to have 4 more kids - but the point is that I really liked both Avi and Lainie, and while we spent time together as families, Avi and I would on occasion have one-on-one time together to check in and chat about all sorts of things.
As time passed I became less intimidated and more relaxed, realizing that Avi was one of the least judgmental people I knew. Kind, gentle, calm, wise, and so fabulously masculine, I appreciated Avi’s quiet energy and words of wisdom. I recall attending Superbutch at the Great Hall, in 2016 with Avi. That event precipitated lots of thinking about my masculinity and Avi and I continued our conversations about gender and masculinity over the many years we’ve known each other.
This video is of my interview with Avi following the photo shoot. Continue to scroll down for more photos.
